Troubled by rejection and disappointment?

Are we not sometimes troubled by rejection and or disappointment? Our reactions can bring on the worst sort of depression and self-loathing. We wonder what is wrong with us, where we failed, how to next proceed. It isn’t uncommon to feel lost. Our perceptions seem almost deceived. We find ourselves in a foggy place, somewhat unrecognizable. We might even shed a tear.

Rejection and disappointment occur in many areas of life. It’s essential to know this because the healing techniques are the same across the circumstances.

First, acknowledge that as an autonomous individual it is the ego that experiences the pain. Each of us knows the desire to proceed in life and obtaining our goals comes from a deep place within. The ego is mighty. It deserves to have what it wants. It becomes a bit crushed when something doesn’t go as planned.

Second, recognize that the ego can adapt to the new reality. Don’t allow it to become fragile and lose your self-esteem. Remind yourself that what happens externally need not affect your self worth.

Third, accept life as it happens. Live in the now, not the past. The only reality is what happens at this very moment.

Reclaim your life’s dreams. Understand that the universe may have something better in store. The possibilities are as endless as you choose them to be. Reinvent yourself if you didn’t get the position you thought should have had. Make a list of your skills and add new skills to create a wider scope of your abilities. Any experience is an asset. Take a class. Take a tour of an area in your town. You’d be surprised at the gained knowledge a short detour from your regular day to day life can bring. Because you’ll be adding strength to yourself, you’ll see life and yourself differently. Having a new perspective will help you see your circumstances in a better light.

If your pain has come from relationships with others, understand that people will always disappoint because it’s our nature. Learn to accept others for their weaknesses and strengths. From this angle, see each person anew. Remember when your actions have disappointed others? What you did or didn’t do was not intentional if you’re authentic. You were merely being yourself. And if you feel you cannot be entirely yourself with others, these are not the people with whom you want to share your time anyway. Be free.

Go and add something today. Breathe in the moment and recognize it. Love, for it’s the best thing you can do at a time like this.

Joy,
Cheryl

Are we all Frozen?

I recently viewed the Disney film, Frozen; and I was told that one particular song, “Let it Go” would be the most played song at school pep rallies and sport games. It seems the children have really latched onto the energy and the lyrics of this song at his school. One of the teachers has a sign up that counts the days – still at Zero – stating that so far, since the film’s release, there has not been a single day that the students have not sung a part of the song at school. It’s incredible to think about how the power of music can promote positive or negative feelings in each of us. And I am sure the
students in this school will continue to feed off the power in this song.
I must note that these lyrics are sung during a fearful moment in the story. But again, it’s a time of self knowledge and awakening as well. The new Queen has hidden her self and her power for many years until her secrets are revealed and are exploded into a crystal, cold world. Most of us conceal our powers out of fear as well. But once the gates are open, metaphorically and literally in this film, the power is meant to spark and come alive to its fullest potential. How great it would be for us all to take that leap, be courageous, and expose our true selfs to the world. While this queen does, it hurts those around her until she realizes the part she left out. The love that should go along with it. Once this happens, we find warmth and further strength to carry the ending far past the film’s ending.
I’ve chosen some lyrics to print here because it may be helpful to notice both the fear and becoming at the same time.

“It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small.
And the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all.
It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through…

“I’m never going back.
The past is in the past.

“Let it go, let it go
And I’ll rise like the break of dawn”

Idina Menzel belts out these words and helps to remind us that fear can leave each of us crippled. The past is the past. (See my post “Can’t Repeat the Past?”…) We should not fear what once was. There are always new beginnings and new possibilities.

Take it from kids in high school. They want to be free to be who they are deep inside. Don’t we all? Aren’t we ready to warm up to our powers and to love freely?

Joy,
Cheryl

By the way, check out the upcoming virtual conference about the power of music. See the link below:
Https://www.entheos.com/The-Power-of-Music?c=wise_way

The Journey

“I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”
Henry David Thoreau

Where are you headed? In life, in your career, where you’ll spend your time? I imagined my recent vacation would be one of excitement and wonder. I, for as long as I can remember, had always wanted to see a redwood tree due to the pictures I viewed as a child. I am amazed at the height and vastness of the species. Living on the east coast all my life, I knew I’d have to visit the west coast to do so, and last week I had the most wonderful opportunity to see and touch one of these magnificent trees. The experience was a spiritual one for me; I noticed great feelings well up inside me and I shed a tear of gratitude as my friend snapped this picture.
What I learned about dreams that day inspires me to follow more of them as a way to feel like that again. A life lived in this manner would be quite a journey. Imagine if we all gained success by being adamant about attaining our dreams. Be confident, Thoreau says, in the manner of pursuit.
Press onward.
Lean into your dreams.
You may just live the life you really want.

Joy,
Cheryl

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Authenticity

When was the last time you pretended to be someone or something you’re not either to impress or fit into the crowd? Perhaps you purchase certain types of clothing or listen to specific music though deep inside each of these makes you uncomfortable. Has your vocabulary changed? Maybe your hair style?

Is your outward appearance more important than what’s inside your heart? Do you value the opinions of others over your own truths?

Time to take a good look at your value system. Sometimes we believe hanging with the “right” crowd will make us better people. You know this is hardly true. Usually, the scenario goes something like this: You’re spending time with someone only to be ridiculed for having your own thought. Initially you are taken aback, but continue to press forward. As time goes on you find yourself watching the things you say, and feel stifled that anything you may say or do will be met with similar reproach.

This is no way to live if you’re to be the free person you are. If the people you spend time with do not allow you to be your best self, it’s better to be without them. Instead, enjoy the company of those whom you do have the freedom to be yourself – The freedom of authenticity. We should never be drones without self worth. Speak your ideas freely, particularly with like-minded people. You’ll find that’s the way to thrive and become your best self. Don’t let others stifle you or your ideas.
You may find true friends as well.

Joy,
Cheryl

Who are you?

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.

Henry David Thoreau

As synchronicity would have it, this quote, which I’ve used so many times, winds up as another’s comment in a discussion I’m reading through on LinkedIn. That’s because we are all connected. I’m certain you’ve all had moments, events, that seem coincidental. Don’t overlook these occurrences. Pay attention to them; they may prove more meaningful than you’d think.

On with the chosen quote. Thoreau, as I’ve mentioned in a previous post, has influenced me in many ways. This time, we should look carefully at what’s been written here.

‘What you get’ implies that goals are things or heights we strive to obtain in order of some importance to us. The end result seems the final destination. What’s in it for me? Sometimes it’s the body we desire after countless days spent in the gym. Sometimes it’s the degree we’ve earned through years of reading and writing papers. The end result. Yes. Ahhhh

‘What you get by achieving your goals’ leaves out the journey, the means to the end result. Think of this: there’s a mountain over there, lets call it your goal. You could reach the top by helicopter, yet nothing is gained in this manner. Would you know the terrain to make the journey again? No. That would be like cheating on a test and ‘getting’ a good grade. You still don’t know the material, so the reward isn’t yours. You’d need to continue to cheat, but the result remains unknown as a vast canyon. There’s something about stomping up the side of the mountain a step at a time, maybe slipping a little too, that helps you understand yourself a bit more.

Think of a time when you’ve achieved something rather fantastic. Did getting the thing, the trophy, the degree, the job leave you almost with a sense of emptiness? Were you still looking for the triumph to last longer than it did? Did you ask, “Is this it?” Perhaps you’ve forgotten to stop at each small step along the way in your journey to the end result and assess what has happened to you as a person. This is the most important part of your hike to the peak. What did you add to your character on the way? Are you more efficient at time management? Did you recognize where you slacked? Will you be able to understand now how to get past the snags? How have you changed?

Try a free questionnaire provided by the Via Institute. It’s a character test. Do the test now, and at a later date (perhaps after achieving a goal, like starting a budget) to test how much you’ve improved or evolved.

Here’s the site address:
http://www.viacharacter.org

Becoming Self Aware is the first and best thing you can do for you. Find out what your character strengths are; you’ll be glad you did.

Joy,
Cheryl

Take a ride on a butterfly’s back

Years ago, I would play a game with my mind that I thought was just for fun. I didn’t spend a lot of time playing this game, but every now and again I liked to gain a different perspective while outside riding my bike or doing what kids do for amusement. I suppose I
credit the writers of the television show I Dream of Jeannie whom I believe were onto something when Jeannie became really small. Most of the time we’d see her in her bottle. I’m sure it was a life size set to provide an illusion for the viewer. There were other times when she’d blink herself small to hide from Dr. Bellows, or anyone else, and wind up in the strangest places. Here the viewer would gain perspective from that of Major Nelson’s front shirt pocket, or my favorite, the pencil cup where she’d struggle with the weight and unbalance of giant beams. If I tried, I could imagine myself just as small. If I tried harder, I could place myself anywhere in a room and ‘see’ myself in that room from the vantage point of where I’d be standing or sitting. I had fun with this, but that’s where the game would end.

It’s only recently upon reading several works of Deepak Chopra, did I understand the perspective game actually has a function and a purpose. In one of his more recent books, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Super Heroes, Chopra guides the reader through The Law of Transcendence, quite simply the law of Thermodynamics and Quantum Physics. In the book, he will call it shape shifting because the law poses two conditions, one that the body is always changing and moving in any direction. The other suggests that any time we resist growing and developing, there is a downward pull. The point being that we take great care in improving our lives or the downward or negative pull happens as a counter.

Try this link
http://www.spiritualmaturity.info/Home_Page.html

Upon knowing how the law works, we can understand that gaining a better or different perspective will inevitably helps us achieve a higher self so long as that perspective helps us grow rather than hinder us.

Think of this, you want to do something you’ve only ever seen others do. Ask yourself, “Am I not a human being? Don’t I have all the qualities that make me this? Then why can’t I do the same?” Truly you are equipped. So go ahead and do it.

Here’s how your small self on the top of the tree can view the you you want to be. Simply watch yourself perform the action. Perhaps you’d have to do so as if it is a movie you create in your mind. Nonetheless, decide to take on a new task that will help you grow. More or less, from this vantage point, you would watch or allow your body to do what only your mind keeps thinking you can’t.

For fun, take on the small shape again and place yourself anywhere you’d like to be. Sit on the shelf and watch yourself wash the dishes, or make dinner. Go outside with your mind and see where you live. Sit upon a treetop and watch children play from that perspective. Once you get the hang of it, you can soar with the eagles, you can shape-shift and become the waves, or you can take a ride upon a butterfly’s shoulders.

Joy,
Cheryl

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Salutations!

I typically won’t use first person narrative in my blog posts because the concepts I explain are universal. This post tells a story that helps me provide a basis for what I’m about to share.

One of the many salutations I could use to end my posts just wouldn’t capture the essence of what I felt when one of my favorite teachers had ended an email addressed to me with “Joy”. At first I was upset. Really? I complained. I had just sent a desperate note to him that I had a terrible case of writer’s block 40 pages into the dreaded 80 page thesis paper, due within days. The word jumped off the screen to me. Never has anyone used this salutation to end an email before. Never was I so disturbed. How did he expect me to muster up joy when writing the longest essay I had ever written?

Teachers are like this, Yes?
Assignments are difficult. Life is difficult. The thing is, the love he sent through email that day changed my life. Yes, love. Remember in the last post when I quoted John C Maxwell? Maxwell’s definition of friend resonates the type of challenge Dr. Daly posed to me. I grappled with it for a day or so before realizing something. I had forgotten to enjoy the assignment, the challenge, the journey, and my knowledge about the chosen subject. Once I felt “joy”, I was able to move through the last 41 pages like a breeze.

You see, the journey for writing that essay is a metaphor for life. Sometimes, about half way through, we panic. Sometimes we want to quit and turn in the gloves because we tire easily from the fight. We’d rather give up and go home. Friends around us can help make the struggle a bit easier. As a friend, you can ease another’s concerns. – We are all connected. Each of us needs another to stand along side through tough times. We are like blades of grass. Just one blade does not make a lush field. Stand with friends and give support. It doesn’t need to be much. It could be just a salutation. . .

Joy!!
Cheryl