Wintry Scene

People don’t notice whether it’s winter or summer when they’re happy. ~Anton Chekhov

Self-Respect

We are responsible for our own lives. Each of us must recognize what has worked for us in the past, what has not worked, and make new decisions based on that knowledge for the next move.

We have all made mistakes.

We must determine if we are present in life or absent from it. If we are present, we continue to move forward understanding ourselves and how we react to good and not good times in life and are able to understand what we can correct as far as our behaviors those things we do that hinder our progress. If we are absent from our lives, events will continue to happen to us and should be no surprise that we have no control.

Which is better? To be an agent and act in such a way that we make our lives happen for us the best we can, or shall we allow the world and circumstance to toss us about like a boat with no anchor?

Joan Didion’s essay “On Self-Respect” can serve as a reminder to accept our own failures and make them our own. Maturity does not come as we hit benchmarks in age, only when we can make peace with our failures and shortcomings. The honor society that Joan hoped to join did not allow her a second chance because she messed up. It was her own responsibility to perform in such a way that would gain her the recognition she thought she deserved. Her aim for the essay is to help us see the errors we make as just another happening or occurrence in life, to help us understand that we control some of those unfavorable outcomes. We may not live up to the expectations that are either placed on us by others or the expectations we place on ourselves. Those mistakes, regardless of the matter, are our own. At this time we move on. We will carry the memory of our errors, but we must not live there. We keep pressing forward. We respect ourselves for what we did or did not do. Nielsen used to say to me, “The choice you made, either good or not good, was the right choice for you at that time.” We own our choices and move forward, not stopping to dwell in the past.

We do not stop living after a mistake. We do not need to stop trying to be the best we can be due to past errors. We do not stop striving for excellence.

Setbacks are setbacks.

A future will happen. Will you be awake and present for it, or will you be absent? It is your choice.

Joy,

Cheryl

#choice

Are we all Frozen?

I recently viewed the Disney film, Frozen; and I was told that one particular song, “Let it Go” would be the most played song at school pep rallies and sport games. It seems the children have really latched onto the energy and the lyrics of this song at his school. One of the teachers has a sign up that counts the days – still at Zero – stating that so far, since the film’s release, there has not been a single day that the students have not sung a part of the song at school. It’s incredible to think about how the power of music can promote positive or negative feelings in each of us. And I am sure the
students in this school will continue to feed off the power in this song.
I must note that these lyrics are sung during a fearful moment in the story. But again, it’s a time of self knowledge and awakening as well. The new Queen has hidden her self and her power for many years until her secrets are revealed and are exploded into a crystal, cold world. Most of us conceal our powers out of fear as well. But once the gates are open, metaphorically and literally in this film, the power is meant to spark and come alive to its fullest potential. How great it would be for us all to take that leap, be courageous, and expose our true selfs to the world. While this queen does, it hurts those around her until she realizes the part she left out. The love that should go along with it. Once this happens, we find warmth and further strength to carry the ending far past the film’s ending.
I’ve chosen some lyrics to print here because it may be helpful to notice both the fear and becoming at the same time.

“It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small.
And the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all.
It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through…

“I’m never going back.
The past is in the past.

“Let it go, let it go
And I’ll rise like the break of dawn”

Idina Menzel belts out these words and helps to remind us that fear can leave each of us crippled. The past is the past. (See my post “Can’t Repeat the Past?”…) We should not fear what once was. There are always new beginnings and new possibilities.

Take it from kids in high school. They want to be free to be who they are deep inside. Don’t we all? Aren’t we ready to warm up to our powers and to love freely?

Joy,
Cheryl

Salutations!

I typically won’t use first person narrative in my blog posts because the concepts I explain are universal. This post tells a story that helps me provide a basis for what I’m about to share.

One of the many salutations I could use to end my posts just wouldn’t capture the essence of what I felt when one of my favorite teachers had ended an email addressed to me with “Joy”. At first I was upset. Really? I complained. I had just sent a desperate note to him that I had a terrible case of writer’s block 40 pages into the dreaded 80 page thesis paper, due within days. The word jumped off the screen to me. Never has anyone used this salutation to end an email before. Never was I so disturbed. How did he expect me to muster up joy when writing the longest essay I had ever written?

Teachers are like this, Yes?
Assignments are difficult. Life is difficult. The thing is, the love he sent through email that day changed my life. Yes, love. Remember in the last post when I quoted John C Maxwell? Maxwell’s definition of friend resonates the type of challenge Dr. Daly posed to me. I grappled with it for a day or so before realizing something. I had forgotten to enjoy the assignment, the challenge, the journey, and my knowledge about the chosen subject. Once I felt “joy”, I was able to move through the last 41 pages like a breeze.

You see, the journey for writing that essay is a metaphor for life. Sometimes, about half way through, we panic. Sometimes we want to quit and turn in the gloves because we tire easily from the fight. We’d rather give up and go home. Friends around us can help make the struggle a bit easier. As a friend, you can ease another’s concerns. – We are all connected. Each of us needs another to stand along side through tough times. We are like blades of grass. Just one blade does not make a lush field. Stand with friends and give support. It doesn’t need to be much. It could be just a salutation. . .

Joy!!
Cheryl