Troubled by rejection and disappointment?

Are we not sometimes troubled by rejection and or disappointment? Our reactions can bring on the worst sort of depression and self-loathing. We wonder what is wrong with us, where we failed, how to next proceed. It isn’t uncommon to feel lost. Our perceptions seem almost deceived. We find ourselves in a foggy place, somewhat unrecognizable. We might even shed a tear.

Rejection and disappointment occur in many areas of life. It’s essential to know this because the healing techniques are the same across the circumstances.

First, acknowledge that as an autonomous individual it is the ego that experiences the pain. Each of us knows the desire to proceed in life and obtaining our goals comes from a deep place within. The ego is mighty. It deserves to have what it wants. It becomes a bit crushed when something doesn’t go as planned.

Second, recognize that the ego can adapt to the new reality. Don’t allow it to become fragile and lose your self-esteem. Remind yourself that what happens externally need not affect your self worth.

Third, accept life as it happens. Live in the now, not the past. The only reality is what happens at this very moment.

Reclaim your life’s dreams. Understand that the universe may have something better in store. The possibilities are as endless as you choose them to be. Reinvent yourself if you didn’t get the position you thought should have had. Make a list of your skills and add new skills to create a wider scope of your abilities. Any experience is an asset. Take a class. Take a tour of an area in your town. You’d be surprised at the gained knowledge a short detour from your regular day to day life can bring. Because you’ll be adding strength to yourself, you’ll see life and yourself differently. Having a new perspective will help you see your circumstances in a better light.

If your pain has come from relationships with others, understand that people will always disappoint because it’s our nature. Learn to accept others for their weaknesses and strengths. From this angle, see each person anew. Remember when your actions have disappointed others? What you did or didn’t do was not intentional if you’re authentic. You were merely being yourself. And if you feel you cannot be entirely yourself with others, these are not the people with whom you want to share your time anyway. Be free.

Go and add something today. Breathe in the moment and recognize it. Love, for it’s the best thing you can do at a time like this.

Joy,
Cheryl

Speaking of Change

(1 of 3) Speaking of change. . .

This post will come as three parts:
Speaking of Change,
Don’t Wait for Permission, and
No. You Don’t Have Time.

Mt. Shasta

I’ve delayed in writing this particular posting as I have been deep in the midst of my own change. Typically, I like to throw myself into changes just to see how they work out. Get Your Wisdom On blog is one of the fairly recent changes to my scope of work. Writing this particular post hasn’t come as easily as I hoped, so I took some time to contemplate the reasons it’s taken more mustering than usual.

If you have ever embarked on a part of your journey that you’ve no comparison, it might seem that the path is difficult to navigate. I speak of a change that’s so foreign, you wonder why you should even attempt it. Ha, I suppose that’s the beauty of the new thing. Many of us have moved out of neighborhood or stepped away from a job that had become what seems like part us. If done often enough, that type of move can become banal and not worth the time spent thinking about it; we just do it. I don’t mean to demean this type of move, though. Changes like these can be complicated, as you take into consideration many aspects. You may ask yourself if your decision is the best one or not.
*Let me say:
The best decision is the one that is good for you right now.

You’ll know soon enough for sure; then you may make additional changes to make it fit your life.

Let’s get back to the choice you may make that will change everything you know and embark on an epic journey, the one you have never had an inkling of experience. We will never know our futures, nor will we ever be secure in our choice to make the plunge. What I mean is simply that the future isn’t certain. The road we’re on feels comfortable to us only because it’s familiar. Familiarity isn’t safe. If it’s a job change, we think because it pays a certain salary each week, it’ll be waiting for us forever. I’m going to play havoc with that belief system. Many people over the years have thought that job security exists. It doesn’t. Companies change. Those who run companies change their minds about how that company is run. You’re most often the chess piece used for the sport of making that company money. Yes, I know you’re loyal and you feel they’ll be as well. One can never really tell. My suggestion is to follow your dream.

If you plan to do anything in your life, realize that change is inevitable. And it is neither good or not good. It’s change.

What helps is to understand change and the fears that come with it. One of the keys is to embrace change no matter what.

Before you learned to drive a car, snow board, earn a degree, or anything new, you didn’t know how it would change you. Your choice enabled you to feel freedom, pleasure, or accomplished. Good things came from your change, but you didn’t know that at the time. You struggled through the beginnings of it. You might even had fears such as running off the road, falling over a snowy cliff, or failing miserably. But as you worked further, you found that you gained confidence. A lack of confidence keeps us from something we wish to attain through change. Exploring your fears helps to identify what holds you back from entering the door before you.
Do you think you’ll lose friends if you change? Do you think you’ll miss out on something else if you change? If you become successful at the new thing, who do you think you’ll hurt?

Think about this: change happens all around us each day. Most of these we accept without much thought. Technological changes are the norm. We expect the latest gadget to become obsolete within the next few months. Other changes are not so commonplace. In the US, the health care system is changing. In this instance, some of us will embrace it while others will resist.

What about changes we decide for our own lives?
Do we or should we resist our own desires if we feel the slightest fear of the unknown? Surely we’ve gone through other changes; and today we look back at what now seems trivial. We say, “Of course it can be done. I did it.”
How about how others will see us as we change? Do we often feel like we should ask for permission?

Read my next post entitled. Don’t Wait for Permission.